mycarforum: Jokes for everyone part 24

One day a guy walks into a bar and sees this jar of money, so he goes up to the bartender and asked him what it was for he says well where having a contest. You see that guy over there you have to tap him on the shoulder and knock him out in one punch. The guy says I can do that. Then he says next you have to go in that cage over there and there is a dog in there he has all the rabies in the world you have to pull out three of his teeth.He says I can do that. Then the bartender says next you have to f**k that old lady over there, the man syas no I won't do that. He has a couple of beers then puts his money in the jar and then taps the guy on the shoulder and knocks him out in one punch. hen goes in the cage and comes out 3 minutes later and says where is the old lyady that needs Her teeth pulled.

80-year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home.
She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, "Anyone who can guess what`s in my hand can have sex with me tonight!"
An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An elephant?"
Bessie thinks a minute and says, "Close enough."

A man fell asleep on the beach one day while laying on his back. When he woke up, his legs were blood red and starting to blister. He went to the emergency room. The doctor stuck him with so many needles, he passed out. When the nurse was looking over his chart, she noticed he was given morphine, hydrocortisone, and viagra. Curious, she asked the doctor what the viagra was for. He said, "Oh, well he's got morphine for pain, hyforcortisone for his blisters. The Viagra is to keep the sheet off his legs as not to cause anymore irratation then necessary."

�An old cowboy went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat there sipping His whisky, a young lady sat down next to him.
She turned to the cowboy and asked him,
`Are you a real cowboy?`
He replied,
`Well, I`ve spent my whole life on the ranch, herding cows, breaking horses, mending fences, so I guess I am.`
He then asked her what she was. She replied,
`I`m a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning I think of women when I eat, shower, watch TV, everything seems to make me think of women.`
A little while later a couple sat down next to the old cowboy and asked him,
`Are you a real cowboy?`
He replied,
`I always thought I was, but I just found out I`m a lesbian.`

An extensive interview was being conducted on an old couple.
The questions got more and more personal until finally the interviewer asked the man and woman. .. .. DO YOU TWO HAVE MUTUAL ORGASAM?
The man and woman look at each other rather puzzled and they both replied: NO. .. .. STATE FARM.

A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I`ve got a big problem doctor.
Every time we`re in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this earsplitting yell."
"My dear," the shrink said, "that`s completely natural. I don`t see what the problem is."
"The problem," she complained, "is that it wakes me up."

A couple were indulged in sexual intercourse and the man noticed that with each movement of his pelvis, his partner`s toes would rise.
Later that night, while going at it pretty hot and heavy in the shower, her toes remained still.
Confused, he asked, "Why is it that when we do it in bed, your toes go up, but when we do it in the shower, they don`t?"
"Silly," she replied, "I take my pantyhose off in the shower!"

A worried father confronted his daughter one night.
"I don`t like that new boyfriend, he`s rough and common and bloody stupid with it."
"Oh no, Daddy," the daughter replied, "Fred`s ever so clever, we`ve only been going out nine weeks and he`s cured me of that illness I used to get once a month."

A man and His wife are in the bedroom one night and they've just finished having sex.
"Honey, did you enjoy the sex we just had?"
he asks.
"Yes, of course, Dear. Didn't you hear me laughing?"

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